Proud Father
by Neumzie
Summary: Carlisle's recollections and reflections about Edward's life and the stuggles he has gone through. Set during the wedding but not much wedding detail. Read & REVIEW. Please!


**Hello, this is my first, and probably last, story so if it totally sucks just tell me. lol I'm just writing this because I always wanted to know more about Carlisle and his views. I just think he is one of the most fascinating characters out there.**

**So yea, here are Carlisle's thoughts and recollections on Edward while at (my version of) the wedding lol. **

**I warn you, there will not be much actual wedding detail because Carlisle's is busty reminiscing and contemplating **

**Disclaimer: I wish I were that imaginative!**

_Carlisle_

I couldn't believe it.

Edward was actually getting married. To be honest, I'm still a little bit shocked that he had finally fallen in love; that he had _let_ himself fall in love.

Edward was always more stand-offish than the rest of the family. He had always looked over us all from afar, almost like an angel watching over us, even if I am the "father" of the family. He had never let any of us get too deep into his consciousness or let us pick his brain for longer than absolutely necessary before going up to his room or his piano and immersing himself in his music.

But even though he doesn't let us in much since his little "rebellion", I still knew him from before he was a vampire.

For the short time that I had known him as a human, I had already gotten the impression that he was very caring and loyal (and that he had some slight masochistic tendencies). The way he had talked about how his mother should just slow down and relax when he knew full well that if she didn't take care of him, and I wasn't there for some reason or another, that he would die. When I had asked him why he would make her stop, he simply stared at me and said, "She doesn't deserve that." Like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

I had seen him go through _so many_ struggles over the years. I had watched him make the change from human to vampire, I had seen him struggle with our way of life, I saw him struggle with his guilt when he came back after his absence.

And I watched him struggle with Bella.

Through all of this, I remembered the Edward from before. Before he had left we had had many conversations. I had helped him through every little, and not so little, problem. We had talked about our beliefs, our pasts, our goals, our reasons for those goals, and life; although Edward frequently pointed out that we should technically be talking about death, since that's what we were; dead.

I would remember those discussions, remember that Edward, and see the Edward from after he left, and mourn. He had never been the same. He was much more withdrawn than before and only Esme and I knew. I saw all the light in him start to go away. Not because it wasn't there, but because he was hiding himself. He didn't feel a monster like him deserved to be so happy as that.

For the others, this was normal Edward behavior and just assumed that he had always been like that, which only made us more upset. They would just let him be and joke around that he had to stop sulking and to stop trying to watch them like, as Emmett put it, "a creepy stalker." But they never really knew (maybe with exception of Jasper and Alice, but I'm not sure) that he was watching over all of us to make sure we didn't wind up as hurt and damaged as he did.

They had never gotten to know the _real_ Edward, not all of him at least. Sure, they have all seen different sides of him and they know his story, but they do not truly know the depth of his being; hell, even I don't know everything about him! He has barely smiled genuinely or laughed heartily since he came back.

I love all my "children" equally, but Edward will always hold a special place in my cold, dead heart. He is not only my son. He is my best friend, my right hand man, my first companion, my brother. I have known him longer than I have known even my wife. We have been through a lot together, and now that I watch him and Bella up at the alter now, saying their vows and not paying attention to the minister (I can tell. I've been there before and I can see their eyes), I can't help but be…proud.

I have watched him with all that has happened with Bella. All the denial he went through, all the unnecessary pain he inflicted upon himself and Bella (not to mention his family) when he left her, convinced that nothing good could come of her being around vampires all the time. The struggle he had with the jealousy that came with Jacob Black and i watched him _trust_ Bella explicitly when he gave her a choice; he never really used to trust at all.

But I try not to think of all that pain. I always remember the light in his eyes when he came back that first day after talking to Bella for the first time and how surprised I was. I had never seen him look so…happy. No, happy is not a strong enough emotion for the look that filled his eyes. It goes beyond words. He didn't even know he felt anything for her yet! But the most telling difference to those that are not that observant would be that ever since he met Bella, even before he knew he loved her, his music has meaning. Do not misunderstand me, his music has always had meaning, but it has never held deep, raw emotion as powerful before. I still cannot believe that Rosalie had underestimated him that much. I happen to know she is much smarter than that.

But that is behind us now and holds no relevance to the present. The present that includes Edward kissing his bride at this very moment.

Let me rephrase that; kissing his bride _passionately._

As I watched this spectacle (with more than a little amusment on behalf of Edward), I looked over at my own wife, my own life, love, my own everything and saw in her eyes the same emotion that I was feeling oh so deeply right now. Yes, there was love, euphoria, and contentment. But there was also pride.

I was, indeed, feeling pride above all others. I was proud of my friend, brother, son for finally letting his guard down, for letting his heart take the lead for once in his long life. For letting himself accept Bella's love in return and giving us a strong, loving, caring (and also slightly masochistic, just as her husband) daughter. But most of all, I'm proud of him for realizing that he deserved her, all of her and all that she provides.

I am, indeed, a father that is immensely proud of his son.


End file.
